tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40316999493852671192024-03-05T02:01:29.299-08:00Life, Love, and one Amazing JourneyMistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.comBlogger323125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-71566572416312131712021-02-04T14:38:00.001-08:002021-02-04T14:41:22.293-08:00New Month - New Goals<p> What a crazy ride this year has been already. I haven't even scratched the surface of everything that is going on. There are some hard emotional issues in the mix. On top of that, my mother is in Hospice care, and Trey's father is in Hospice care. We just made a whirlwind trip down to Texas, so we could all say goodbye to him. It's heartbreaking, and I find myself on the verge of tears almost always. Sometimes I start to fall into the self-pity trap. Well, you don't have to do this today. You have a lot on your plate. Blah, blah, blah. That might work for some people, but I can't stop. If I stop, I will just fall into old habits and continue to be miserable. Change is my self-care. I need self-care. It felt really good to walk into my clean and decluttered house last night after a very long and, at times, scary (thank you snow storm) road trip. Is my house fully decluttered and super clean? No. But it is clean, and I have done a lot of decluttering. It just made me want to continue on. </p><p>Last month, I had the goal of clearing out the storage space. We were spending $223 a month on that stupid space. Friday I finished. Woo hoo. I had to pay $250 to have someone haul away the old piano, so we are saving no money in February, but we will starting in March. I'm glad to not have to worry about it anymore. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJDVaDiZ2oBGDAJ0KgKQbie3-ngf_jQOPdEMNJCCbYMf4ivjsUwar4ldjgDW9lnsiQ-ni3YwcCgsbkL4x0BMaXyuvq7Zx3u8OZ8bF0bxWA-BMb9wFjQm8kv-33soo9_SmZX3GcmYU4M6Y/s640/empty+storage.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJDVaDiZ2oBGDAJ0KgKQbie3-ngf_jQOPdEMNJCCbYMf4ivjsUwar4ldjgDW9lnsiQ-ni3YwcCgsbkL4x0BMaXyuvq7Zx3u8OZ8bF0bxWA-BMb9wFjQm8kv-33soo9_SmZX3GcmYU4M6Y/s320/empty+storage.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>Before our trip to Texas, I decided to tackle something that I had to think about first. I have a tea cup collection. I have really enjoyed it. It started to just feel like too much though. I have this awesome glass cabinet that my husband got me. We haven't been able to find the keys to it since we had to move out because of our flood. Last week, we found them! I had far too many tea cups for the cabinet though. I didn't want to just pile them back in the way they had been before. It was surprisingly easy to sit down and pick out my favorites and give the rest to the thrift store. Some of them were old and collectible that I gave away. Some of them that I kept are mass produced from the 70s. It doesn't really matter though. I kept the ones that meant something or that really gave me joy. I gave most of them away. When I put them in my cabinet, I had room for three things of my grandmother's that I have as well as a tea pot and a few other things. I love that cabinet now. I haven't gotten a chance to go back and clean the glass, but I took a picture anyway. Now, when I look at that cabinet I don't think, "Gosh - if the kids bump that, everything is going to break." Now, I think, "I love this!" That is a pretty cool feeling.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM_7ikRxxC1iw3K6LGiAZsm5zYPhIFmLKNQYOVnrywnyLGvPMGCz4JizeRa2Ig8gnaM3ugP7tec8tjJarwQDNTtYxlXK4OXqic814njvVSuJWLIdA7PJgzmZod_LNUGmw3rGo2SoHVtvg/s640/tea+cup+cabinet.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM_7ikRxxC1iw3K6LGiAZsm5zYPhIFmLKNQYOVnrywnyLGvPMGCz4JizeRa2Ig8gnaM3ugP7tec8tjJarwQDNTtYxlXK4OXqic814njvVSuJWLIdA7PJgzmZod_LNUGmw3rGo2SoHVtvg/s320/tea+cup+cabinet.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwhjQnTIcVfSOEPQrdmOoPaSiWRuR7vPKAXQq7D46020Rba6QpJfbtCstI-C4HF_gU_tPUDOliBNR6WRD2FHjHn6m-UT_g3ojSmYU9QkkA-uJUTQ2HraLO21hIYYZbknVhElt2Jwjw31c/s640/tea+cups.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwhjQnTIcVfSOEPQrdmOoPaSiWRuR7vPKAXQq7D46020Rba6QpJfbtCstI-C4HF_gU_tPUDOliBNR6WRD2FHjHn6m-UT_g3ojSmYU9QkkA-uJUTQ2HraLO21hIYYZbknVhElt2Jwjw31c/s320/tea+cups.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>Last month, I had the goal of clearing out the storage space. I achieved that goal! This month, I have the goal of clearing out the garage. I was really upset today, and I just wanted to curl up in a corner. I walked into the garage and instantly felt completely overwhelmed. I wanted to sit on the floor and cry. Instead, I said to myself, "Five things. Five things. Five things." So, I found five things to toss easily. Then I walked back in. I decided that I wasn't going to do a thorough cleaning and decluttering. I would just start with a quick once over. I realized that with the emotional state that I was in, I could not make a lot of decisions. So, pretty much anything that I had to think about got put in a pile for later. It was a good decision because here's what I trashed:</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVRwu_PA6WoIu-EjYkSj8KPY9rkqlLBCwUeePilJOma1Waym0KV1dybWQof3awOvDSDr_TP1OsVv97EXlXW4Df363pvOOmTeAChsDiLRrqmnSqQiCbCOKWPXTBRrUyJTJBH65iWopcxiA/s640/garage+trash.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVRwu_PA6WoIu-EjYkSj8KPY9rkqlLBCwUeePilJOma1Waym0KV1dybWQof3awOvDSDr_TP1OsVv97EXlXW4Df363pvOOmTeAChsDiLRrqmnSqQiCbCOKWPXTBRrUyJTJBH65iWopcxiA/s320/garage+trash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>I would say that is not bad for a "once over." I also found some things to give away. Most of the following picture came out of the garage. I have started keeping a bag by the front door for giveaway things. It's handy. I still feel like there is so much to do, but I keep reminding myself that it's baby steps. I'll get there or go crazy trying. Some days I am not sure which. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNKug9SxttJyeDOUrlQzdh_WdfxPFbVZ8iCeiv_VDTY7Gmi5FLd08qhHSancutaODAicEsH2l8-Es1SkUMKy0mh0bSKNgnx7Sd_d9rSy5U36DeTmTe9m7Vix-oNKA22g3w8_Cb-9npZEk/s640/garage+giveaway.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNKug9SxttJyeDOUrlQzdh_WdfxPFbVZ8iCeiv_VDTY7Gmi5FLd08qhHSancutaODAicEsH2l8-Es1SkUMKy0mh0bSKNgnx7Sd_d9rSy5U36DeTmTe9m7Vix-oNKA22g3w8_Cb-9npZEk/s320/garage+giveaway.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-81898970032803374182021-01-26T11:43:00.003-08:002021-01-26T11:43:38.473-08:00Storage space progress<p> We're almost out of the storage space! Woo hoo! Unfortunately, my childhood piano, while it looks lovely, is not fixable. I'm sad to say goodbye to it, but there is no reason to keep it if it cannot be fixed. We're going to have to pay the equivalent of a month's storage rent to dispose of it, but then we'll be done with that added expense every month. I have almost everything out of the storage space. While I now have a ton of boxes in my basement, I have gotten rid of a large amount of stuff. We've taken a lot to the thrift store, and we have trashed a lot. I know I will probably get rid of more, but I'm happy for now. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4PMdZXHSkgosqfCed02cNwNS0c0uRzewiN-uiNPkbSSIv88f2XQlOMZieoqqzmWLPr69ra65-HD1a4KpdLBqfhJKufqWzC0lbcuVaE14LjOWHpGrxLm-yJpv3AHA7W84SmbSk4hwl0ho/s640/storage+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4PMdZXHSkgosqfCed02cNwNS0c0uRzewiN-uiNPkbSSIv88f2XQlOMZieoqqzmWLPr69ra65-HD1a4KpdLBqfhJKufqWzC0lbcuVaE14LjOWHpGrxLm-yJpv3AHA7W84SmbSk4hwl0ho/s320/storage+1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0aBXh8zhyO1TtqJ5z01iHfxYQgLhahzHz4Eb1treUk2jHO_ak4cGSNANa3YYlLC-hmPYNlKV-szCtFe-zJOyyX6XLsOQPhRD2e4EoRD7AjGTvbneVzrBCU1QfiJr3nZlcIBpmqVbypGc/s640/storage+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0aBXh8zhyO1TtqJ5z01iHfxYQgLhahzHz4Eb1treUk2jHO_ak4cGSNANa3YYlLC-hmPYNlKV-szCtFe-zJOyyX6XLsOQPhRD2e4EoRD7AjGTvbneVzrBCU1QfiJr3nZlcIBpmqVbypGc/s320/storage+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>Here is the next load of Goodwill stuff:</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhYsw3qM5RspSPkTrnm5eqAKUKokE7CQ209hzERTMUzGGJ_sy9RscYd4SC47Zn_s9YfrcwQWWVsUbkPUSknqpzZkvEsDT-Lamlqlo4Z1bFNxuzjLI-93vBFtW78IuUSPjuiR7fW9XPP7g/s640/more+giveaway.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhYsw3qM5RspSPkTrnm5eqAKUKokE7CQ209hzERTMUzGGJ_sy9RscYd4SC47Zn_s9YfrcwQWWVsUbkPUSknqpzZkvEsDT-Lamlqlo4Z1bFNxuzjLI-93vBFtW78IuUSPjuiR7fW9XPP7g/s320/more+giveaway.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>We also got some trash out of the storage space as well as an old DVD player that doesn't work (why do we still have that?!) and an old Direct TV box (again - why?!).<div><br /><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipTuwmcBAPAq8l-HdNPMGKn5tyoi5FH_ajz6AmKb9vNlDSLfkcvsCORit5m1cMvX0d0mF1RWb95vKJ0Q8V-g9w7XYxoiNgLv5RV0xpHvJcjtjzFXE4BG4pyt3Nl9nE7NQDak7FufKo360/s640/trash+and+recycling.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipTuwmcBAPAq8l-HdNPMGKn5tyoi5FH_ajz6AmKb9vNlDSLfkcvsCORit5m1cMvX0d0mF1RWb95vKJ0Q8V-g9w7XYxoiNgLv5RV0xpHvJcjtjzFXE4BG4pyt3Nl9nE7NQDak7FufKo360/s320/trash+and+recycling.jpg" /></a></div><p>Parts of the house are really starting to feel good. Trey and Raymond got a new door up in our bedroom. We still need to put new trim up, paint it, and put on a new door knob, but it's a start. Today, following my five things rule, I went through the basket of socks. I have decided, in an effort to minimize and streamline, that I will have mostly all the same socks, so they are easy to match. I got rid of a bunch of my old socks which empties out my drawer a lot. I can't believe how many socks we have in this house! Well - HAD. I got rid of a lot of mismatched socks and socks with holes. I also went through the dogs' toys. Our dogs are spoiled. I got rid of many destroyed toys, and they still have an entire container full of toys. LOL. Oh well, they need their toys. :) </p><p>Small progress is still progress. </p></div></div>Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-31485355952384210362021-01-22T13:15:00.005-08:002021-01-22T13:19:03.760-08:00On track<p> So far, things are going pretty well. The five things rule is one of the best things I could come up with! It has helped me tremendously. My bedroom is so comfortable. I still need to go through my desk, and there are a couple of things in my bedroom that need to be hung: a cabinet for the bathroom, shelving for my daughter's room. Those things are on the list, and we'll get to them. I'm sitting here in my room now and am just finished doing work for my job as a music director. It's a comfortable place to be. I enjoy being in here. It feels good. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuA2Ap-xt_JJiYKIDgSElA3c1wJ1Q3lexE2tXGRQn0SOEYgKT9MFyrBPt0JrgAyKIPga6kTJjzR8EYda-m9yVuohD4DrM0nh4zmXbUp7LI0-UF7Owvjbc3gwsE1wwtVki1zbWGUXzeMyE/s640/Bedroom.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuA2Ap-xt_JJiYKIDgSElA3c1wJ1Q3lexE2tXGRQn0SOEYgKT9MFyrBPt0JrgAyKIPga6kTJjzR8EYda-m9yVuohD4DrM0nh4zmXbUp7LI0-UF7Owvjbc3gwsE1wwtVki1zbWGUXzeMyE/s320/Bedroom.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>I also tackled my linen closet which was out of control. I should have taken a before picture. With seven people in the house, we have a lot of linens. We just had too many though. That closet is always a mess, and it drives me nuts. My littles never would put things in there neatly, but I realized that with it being so crowded that was contributing to the mess as well. I got rid of a bunch of pillowcases. I can probably get rid of more, and I probably will. I got rid of an old set of sheets, a heating blanket with no heating unit, cloth napkins that I say we're going to use but never do, and some ratty towels and rags. My linen closet is now neat and easy to keep that way!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_DyxWiajWiWGK4UUqMjg5bSKGTurMbdAkpwipgb26C6DkQw1VKrDv6jsGONO2fOT68khD6VFYsgRhOGRPF_PuCnzLwvYPQY0uEwZnqBkb6DE0c0UZLzocKIPLSUFk7gaXxb8ClC6lt68/s640/linen+closet.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_DyxWiajWiWGK4UUqMjg5bSKGTurMbdAkpwipgb26C6DkQw1VKrDv6jsGONO2fOT68khD6VFYsgRhOGRPF_PuCnzLwvYPQY0uEwZnqBkb6DE0c0UZLzocKIPLSUFk7gaXxb8ClC6lt68/s320/linen+closet.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha3DfN_GnO79qr2ymxR5gRtYHfgEGc6B0Qk5rvmX-L00bl81eT-yOqP64Jsfsr0F_r6AWIH52ZtJspDSQsudwm-arIGZqWX1l4u288riC3kEPBGjHUBXHQC1glluYQhlMlIDfzi42qWtQ/s640/linen+closet+giveaway.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha3DfN_GnO79qr2ymxR5gRtYHfgEGc6B0Qk5rvmX-L00bl81eT-yOqP64Jsfsr0F_r6AWIH52ZtJspDSQsudwm-arIGZqWX1l4u288riC3kEPBGjHUBXHQC1glluYQhlMlIDfzi42qWtQ/s320/linen+closet+giveaway.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>The downstairs is still making me feel uncomfortable. I'm reminding myself not to get overwhelmed though. Baby steps. I go look at the utility area and smile because it is neat and tidy and decluttered. Then I look in the one drawer that I've done and feel good about it, too. My plan is to maintain and keep moving forward - little by little. Honestly, I sometimes really don't know what I am going to do with the kitchen especially, but I'll just keep chipping away at it. </p><p>I've been talking mostly about the minimalism M of my year, but there are other things as well. I'm still struggling with the mindfulness part. I'm still practising self-love, but sometimes I forget. I'm forgetting less than before. I'm still in counseling to help me heal and grow. I'm doing things like hanging the photos in my home that I have been meaning to hang for over two years. It makes me feel more anchored. I have been listening to music more. I look at my vision board and my "home diagram" to help me feel centered and renew my commitments. I'm doing well at keeping the finances under control, and my husband seems to be pretty engaged in that this time as well - which is awesome and helps me to feel not so alone. I'm trying to figure out how to stay engaged and active politically without it drowning me in a black cloud of crazy. I've been taking walks with my daughters. We're planning on hiking again tomorrow with the whole family, so the movement M is going okay. Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps....</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho3FLhnBumwSVl8Jznp3JeI7GNlvpHAQJOdHWMk6Nku4-SyYd8xu22QewjN8R2NAOY_W1Hb81liPoRxrlkQVq1yhA7H1y6h7q3v4RexMdjTgPhpD_-_dHrW4Scp43Szc6Jm6IyDzvMs_o/s640/house+diagram.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho3FLhnBumwSVl8Jznp3JeI7GNlvpHAQJOdHWMk6Nku4-SyYd8xu22QewjN8R2NAOY_W1Hb81liPoRxrlkQVq1yhA7H1y6h7q3v4RexMdjTgPhpD_-_dHrW4Scp43Szc6Jm6IyDzvMs_o/s320/house+diagram.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-17039902574689195162021-01-19T22:40:00.000-08:002021-01-19T22:40:20.213-08:00Lots of progress....<p> I'm very glad that I came up with a "five things rule." It has been very helpful. Very often, when I start off with five things, it quickly moves on to more. It's just a way to get me up off my butt. Today, I spent a lot of time in my bedroom, and it looks and feels great! This post is more of a "what I've been up to over the past few days" because I'm starting to lose track of the days! I have gotten a ton done though, and it feels good.</p><p>I decided to clean out my closet even though I had already done that not too long ago. I have realized that sometimes things need multiple passes to get everything. Now my closet feels done. I even did my husband's side. I found out that he has 11 pajama bottoms. He promises me that he's going to go through them. Let's see how long it takes him without me reminding him. It's been two days already. We'll see. The below pictures are after cleaning. The last picture is of what went. The trash bag is trash and the other was give away.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp6I80CXz0JlqMs9is1U1DGQ69Gu4cmBsO3Q1jJpyYBAPKAfcWOpbz-1hMOKsRh0clGNP_H1yPZHz0wKQi5YkYhXpYYgNRO6xH5gg2J88gtuiBU0orB3-n1YmeVYIBbEscAkZu-w0-rA4/s640/January+18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp6I80CXz0JlqMs9is1U1DGQ69Gu4cmBsO3Q1jJpyYBAPKAfcWOpbz-1hMOKsRh0clGNP_H1yPZHz0wKQi5YkYhXpYYgNRO6xH5gg2J88gtuiBU0orB3-n1YmeVYIBbEscAkZu-w0-rA4/s320/January+18.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYcdG-0qNlnSEzE0NQtXik9e9DD2W7MGLLSK-zozUE1-jTFZfkanPr9hyphenhyphenNkJ01vLXO-JeIfwlMtl8V2-U9eMuS1gfw7lb3wBOfsT08MFrLnrv2x_FkSBRta-lmIBXe1rQ6FYNNo8BtpNY/s640/January+18+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYcdG-0qNlnSEzE0NQtXik9e9DD2W7MGLLSK-zozUE1-jTFZfkanPr9hyphenhyphenNkJ01vLXO-JeIfwlMtl8V2-U9eMuS1gfw7lb3wBOfsT08MFrLnrv2x_FkSBRta-lmIBXe1rQ6FYNNo8BtpNY/s320/January+18+2.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZtbnemYopNlA-TLPfIdiVH1KfK1lX1kbbDiOXnBV4TyVPbWTV3tihiobS9GlwgTdJrNUozoe3IktCBEirz0H7Z59cVBL-KTMMiFCL9mEjG9gEGJrcd0RSnaMD9S9BY2JA3cttvBeMh4w/s640/January+18+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZtbnemYopNlA-TLPfIdiVH1KfK1lX1kbbDiOXnBV4TyVPbWTV3tihiobS9GlwgTdJrNUozoe3IktCBEirz0H7Z59cVBL-KTMMiFCL9mEjG9gEGJrcd0RSnaMD9S9BY2JA3cttvBeMh4w/s320/January+18+3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>I tackled my bedroom as well. My dresser was a mess quite frankly. The below picture is it now. The drawers are cleaned out as well. I decided to go through one of my husband's drawers - the one where he keeps his t-shirts. With his permission, I got rid of many of t-shirts. He now has 19. Yes - 19. He thinks that's not that many - LOL. Oh well. It's less than half of what he had. My son was going through his room and closet on the same day. We purged a lot! It felt so good. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP5mAk1p6UajDNajBo1e6Ey9t8uZXL9hQqOWgihGUs0oVu87J4Wkcyp2iVbet20s6fHbnt-OofRaC9NlbrjQJKOAIP8Q1lbeJ06klGI3QvSLjKuVNZdwo0fRtslAlNWCStfgzrsqdl-c8/s640/January+18+8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP5mAk1p6UajDNajBo1e6Ey9t8uZXL9hQqOWgihGUs0oVu87J4Wkcyp2iVbet20s6fHbnt-OofRaC9NlbrjQJKOAIP8Q1lbeJ06klGI3QvSLjKuVNZdwo0fRtslAlNWCStfgzrsqdl-c8/s320/January+18+8.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Another thing we are trying to do this year is to get our house in good shape. We had to move out nearly three years ago because our house was flooded. It was a very traumatic experience. Well, I can't speak for the whole family, but it was traumatic for me. I have not felt like our house is a home since we moved back in. I have been adament about fixing everything in the house that needs fixing. Our basement bedroom is odd. It has this room/closet that you have to walk through to get to the bathroom. It has just been a room, so we're turning it into an official closet. We hung these this weekend. We still have some shelves to hang, but now my daughter has a closet.<div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhv3MLJRG3O15tKjAnpx2buGu5UO-B7oRyPd7YRkVvPwTiVXL9VVXMRtWYBphQ6vdkLyCtCtcLxzBbqrH8bS3E4RyDGx5AOqkf-PLlP2T8Lom4gFUZlMNBiURwHy-vlmdxVdCnKYty1Dc/s640/January+18+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhv3MLJRG3O15tKjAnpx2buGu5UO-B7oRyPd7YRkVvPwTiVXL9VVXMRtWYBphQ6vdkLyCtCtcLxzBbqrH8bS3E4RyDGx5AOqkf-PLlP2T8Lom4gFUZlMNBiURwHy-vlmdxVdCnKYty1Dc/s320/January+18+5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>She went through all her clothes when she was hanging them and purged quite a bit. She also went through some of her other things. Between her, my son, and I, we filled the back of Dora the Explorer. The thrift store loves me. Ha ha. The trash guys probably want to throw things at my house. Maybe I should make them cookies!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJn3V8sTnsV04Azi_G0c_QBbn9GSem1ea4TiTx1vc3zOfXxUPWoxyO7OdNQxHGi-Op1j12p35HpuJGyGNpE9EV1vWDIiw9hgBjfLoFEymb9JLn1PFHM2UN8mSJb9-BNp-_pF34EoEnPVM/s640/January+18+7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJn3V8sTnsV04Azi_G0c_QBbn9GSem1ea4TiTx1vc3zOfXxUPWoxyO7OdNQxHGi-Op1j12p35HpuJGyGNpE9EV1vWDIiw9hgBjfLoFEymb9JLn1PFHM2UN8mSJb9-BNp-_pF34EoEnPVM/s320/January+18+7.jpg" width="320" /></a></div></div><p>Another of my Ms for 2021 is movement. It is too easy for me to get sedentary when I get depressed or overwhelmed. The whole family (including the three doggos) went on a cool hike up near Golden. You can see the city on the way down. We didn't get to do the whole hike because we ran out of daylight, but we plan to go back. The whole hike is five miles, so we'll need to leave earlier in the day </p><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj33q5_ELX3BSi29UlZUyVut0Z7BCAy-axiwMjeGXOoobePecp8UMPF6v6VGylv5O1mKHVHckeaFkgu5msqW_4bEcCfJYAt5LDaaJZS6B4_0fDcGgYCPC8Am9ETMBpIHyfefiBTsWgXlv8/s640/January+18+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj33q5_ELX3BSi29UlZUyVut0Z7BCAy-axiwMjeGXOoobePecp8UMPF6v6VGylv5O1mKHVHckeaFkgu5msqW_4bEcCfJYAt5LDaaJZS6B4_0fDcGgYCPC8Am9ETMBpIHyfefiBTsWgXlv8/s320/January+18+4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div>The picture below is of my Kamala's Own oil. I have had this oil for a long time. I have been burning it this week in honor of our very first woman vice president who will be sworn in tomorrow!!!!!!!</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglvhxuvwZph0J9-cvd-1VGDVL8U2NK5lnWICd_O8WhJ7typ7mD6tG7vWglIGWThY3TOQ65t-5JDWul7BAcjMHqeUIVoLHNdDUBPQcJ-rvIqjTzoYMXP9hxi6C2QEAzcJbWH1ooqAdhpOk/s640/January+18+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglvhxuvwZph0J9-cvd-1VGDVL8U2NK5lnWICd_O8WhJ7typ7mD6tG7vWglIGWThY3TOQ65t-5JDWul7BAcjMHqeUIVoLHNdDUBPQcJ-rvIqjTzoYMXP9hxi6C2QEAzcJbWH1ooqAdhpOk/s320/January+18+6.jpg" /></a></div><br /></div>Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-18442236220712785242021-01-13T20:29:00.002-08:002021-01-13T20:30:11.125-08:00Quick update<p> I don't want to skip blogging for too long. I had to run to Ohio because my son decided to come home from college. My "five things rule" is really working. I usually end up doing quite a bit more if I just do five things. </p><p>I did get all of my folks' things out of the storage shed and into my basement yesterday. I accidentally brought home one of my boxes. The box was stuffed, and I decided to go through it. I got two small boxes of trash, some giveaway stuff, and kept a few things. Here's the after picture. What I kept is still in the box. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhZTeCk6xGdUPTogKRKfuIYkfaJAMgyWQO0GjxLVV9bm4AbyC5B4XtVtKbIeH0rfNo44gth1C17sPgNamGAH3vOAIyIE2crO3TBMCxwirmuRB0aXpOWvCdGk6n15KEUVGzXH73IYsqIMY/s640/minimalism+-+random+box.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhZTeCk6xGdUPTogKRKfuIYkfaJAMgyWQO0GjxLVV9bm4AbyC5B4XtVtKbIeH0rfNo44gth1C17sPgNamGAH3vOAIyIE2crO3TBMCxwirmuRB0aXpOWvCdGk6n15KEUVGzXH73IYsqIMY/s320/minimalism+-+random+box.jpg" /></a></div><p>Today, I tackled the laundry area. I should have gotten a before picture, but I only have the after. Trust me - it is so much better!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLh0aNYEpL9RLpFTy02sXxiShJ5PK5bnXHAfz6-uyhIg_LZd9qPeDbej4W2aH5eFzFrrlcJhgp_0I-02ybiLst92xegVqO0eSHCvdBfr4jxjFABOtaQE5vjcepvQQwI2ADMD9wMktwRik/s640/minimalism+-+laundry.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLh0aNYEpL9RLpFTy02sXxiShJ5PK5bnXHAfz6-uyhIg_LZd9qPeDbej4W2aH5eFzFrrlcJhgp_0I-02ybiLst92xegVqO0eSHCvdBfr4jxjFABOtaQE5vjcepvQQwI2ADMD9wMktwRik/s320/minimalism+-+laundry.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-1227905583732732752021-01-07T10:38:00.001-08:002021-01-07T10:39:56.571-08:00The Five Things Rule<p> It is very easy to become overwhelmed. So many things are going on and so many changes are happening that it is just a short step to feeling like nothing will really ever change. I know this is a self-defeating attitude, but it is a powerful one. Yesterday, I was busy and sad because it was my son's last full day at home before he went back to college in Ohio. I won't see him for probably four months. That is so hard for a parent. I didn't want to spend time cleaning and decluttering, so I instituted a "Five Things Rule." On those days I don't have to do a major decluttering or even a whole drawer I can do five things. It was easy to find five things that could go. It was a step forward, and I'll take it. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrzcE0DzCVfwiRtCX5toAI0wckt6ILt7XEYVw1aYGTsne0WEY2FT00dd9CP0bfhNNmfbFJn99DEi-QAst2guk5ryEDGJp3sMZNuBb9CnnJ3e-En7lLxM97l0bW6kJzbCDDtgNvLZGgnfg/s640/Goodbye+Ray.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrzcE0DzCVfwiRtCX5toAI0wckt6ILt7XEYVw1aYGTsne0WEY2FT00dd9CP0bfhNNmfbFJn99DEi-QAst2guk5ryEDGJp3sMZNuBb9CnnJ3e-En7lLxM97l0bW6kJzbCDDtgNvLZGgnfg/s320/Goodbye+Ray.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>Today, when we got back from the airport, I was extremely sad. I knew that doing some decluttering would make me feel better, but getting started is hard when all you want to do is lay in bed and have a good cry. So, I remembered my "Five Things Rule." I went to the "junk drawer." I dug through there and found three things to give away and two things to throw away. Then I went outside and cleared out some things that have been sitting out of the way by our porch. Some things were just stuff that didn't get put away - a snow shovel, a snow sled, and a rake. We also had some things that could be thrown away, and there were two things that could be given away. So - bam. One more area that is cleaner, clearer, and more organized. I didn't take pictures. But I did get the picture below. Someone took some of the stuff we had put out for free and left us this lovely note. That felt good.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuhcIap70decUmtsYgtc0Py03pRz44rgBKTNEEAnUbXzM8pxF6joHknIwcTtCuEb2zDF0Fg_gKFbGo0fpQbGu5FZrnKeBfSMG-2XUF8-zs45sUefwJ9oNnHW1wA9Q2jSFv0eU32IdsV4Q/s640/minimalism+day9.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuhcIap70decUmtsYgtc0Py03pRz44rgBKTNEEAnUbXzM8pxF6joHknIwcTtCuEb2zDF0Fg_gKFbGo0fpQbGu5FZrnKeBfSMG-2XUF8-zs45sUefwJ9oNnHW1wA9Q2jSFv0eU32IdsV4Q/s320/minimalism+day9.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>One of the Ms that I am focusing on this year is "movement." I am a big walker, but when I get depressed and overwhelmed, exercise is something that I have trouble doing. Getting up and getting moving is hard when all you feel like doing is laying down and ignoring the world. Luckily, I have kiddos and fur babies to help me achieve this goal. I really enjoy going to the gym, but I don't feel comfortable doing that right now during the pandemic. Our numbers are going down. If they keep going down, maybe we'll get to the point where I will feel safe enough to go to the gym. Until then, I always have these little guys to get me going. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrsexiwN006Or2FfF5yXUqPajPaabxGScCwqbaTLfBCfeHNmm8JUnSQtwWi5fNb3Lqk7tNu_te9K0EYsMc5TbTtXX8Zs01r7nReJjyO9G1XK89ee2bRaFOQ2AsnOhD8Id15l4UNjGBdYY/s640/dog+walking.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrsexiwN006Or2FfF5yXUqPajPaabxGScCwqbaTLfBCfeHNmm8JUnSQtwWi5fNb3Lqk7tNu_te9K0EYsMc5TbTtXX8Zs01r7nReJjyO9G1XK89ee2bRaFOQ2AsnOhD8Id15l4UNjGBdYY/s320/dog+walking.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-35792806390478223692021-01-06T10:36:00.004-08:002021-01-06T15:01:48.967-08:00Baby steps<p> Two of my kiddos went back to the storage shed with me yesterday. Mostly, I worked to separate the things into piles. I wanted to get my folks' and daughter's things separate. I got a lot of that done. We also got an old TV out of there. Thank goodness my older son was with me because that thing is heavy. Right now it is sitting on the side of the road with a free sign on it. We'll see if it disappears. If not, I suppose we'll have to pay to have it recycled, but that's okay. We also got some broken glass out. The movers who brought our stuff to the shed initially were horrible. They damaged my table, broke several pieces of smaller furniture, and broke a glass end table top. I also found one book to add to the give away pile. It was a small improvement, but we're still moving forward.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjttyQFMfHE3CTvbELDd0vML4LjxGfDqEEECZime0dQ_ZQXBAnD4cH8Jc0PW_1CJis66z9oAcAoamObA1lvQ1W2x6EGc1nHFuCqg2uBtXdx6ylN2k9Nn5dvNKFLyUyA3RbYAbDXVIShcvo/s640/minimalism+day7.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjttyQFMfHE3CTvbELDd0vML4LjxGfDqEEECZime0dQ_ZQXBAnD4cH8Jc0PW_1CJis66z9oAcAoamObA1lvQ1W2x6EGc1nHFuCqg2uBtXdx6ylN2k9Nn5dvNKFLyUyA3RbYAbDXVIShcvo/s320/minimalism+day7.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>I'm still trying that self-love thing, and it is still weird. Today instead of following, "I love you," with anything derrogatory, I just said, "Practising, practising, practising." </p><p>Baby steps.</p>Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-37954457196286009522021-01-04T12:44:00.005-08:002021-01-04T12:44:59.073-08:00Storage Shed<p> When our flood happened, we needed to get a storage shed to move our things into. Unfortunately, it has just sat there with stuff in it, and we've been paying on it for almost three years now. It is time for it to go. It has also turned into a dumping ground. We cannot get rid of everything in it, but we do need to pare it down, clean it out, and move out of it! There is absolutely no need for us to pay over $200 a month just to store crap. Today, I spent about an hour in there going through stuff. I didn't make a huge amount of progress. It's a bit overwhelming to be in there, if I am honest. At least I got SOMETHING done. Here are the before pictures (and yes, they are embarrassing): </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTTVIcXUbxqMrnSUrHXW4YsBC31nD0RhnVmRFNchHwucpd6Mh_RztcOBGCoo6TAaU8zX3A3yha7ZM9galWTr8BXeo2CX2BHGzgK_uZizbYPGMUPYr8cPUUv5jPAvXeF4L8thf9yag5ZSg/s640/minimalism+day6+part1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTTVIcXUbxqMrnSUrHXW4YsBC31nD0RhnVmRFNchHwucpd6Mh_RztcOBGCoo6TAaU8zX3A3yha7ZM9galWTr8BXeo2CX2BHGzgK_uZizbYPGMUPYr8cPUUv5jPAvXeF4L8thf9yag5ZSg/s320/minimalism+day6+part1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV1zBJ94dCwwVr_53VNXZX7w-xTTOEweAqwQdUHtbNOx4RTpkUW5hVl4OM9sbdeV-HkpTdUjmg76xRd9Y5RCbqvifACdcPIsONPTI9KZG9qfx_baDvGrz7U8mgKBb6oxmIU9QA-JlaNOM/s640/minimalism+day6+part2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV1zBJ94dCwwVr_53VNXZX7w-xTTOEweAqwQdUHtbNOx4RTpkUW5hVl4OM9sbdeV-HkpTdUjmg76xRd9Y5RCbqvifACdcPIsONPTI9KZG9qfx_baDvGrz7U8mgKBb6oxmIU9QA-JlaNOM/s320/minimalism+day6+part2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>A good chunk of the stuff is actually my parents' things, but way too much of it is ours. We have a lot to do before the end of the month. I am not paying $200 again next month. I brought some things home and some things that were the kids for them to go through - books. They actually got rid of about half the books I brought home, so that's good. The below pictures is the box of stuff that I took to ARC and a bag of trash. So, not a big start, but a start.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw3oUiaJYGGQCdJLPc8csA258I3OqOr_58ZnQPYGKLlGgzpp-7wemsdpYXv4O2g6EyqY1Tt-8l67wNnZGsv-tvWsQSLqRLjbKNRj_LJlx41E2yph4HXSGaUlCSw0II7nI6e6kkFy2ltxw/s640/minimalism+day6+part3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw3oUiaJYGGQCdJLPc8csA258I3OqOr_58ZnQPYGKLlGgzpp-7wemsdpYXv4O2g6EyqY1Tt-8l67wNnZGsv-tvWsQSLqRLjbKNRj_LJlx41E2yph4HXSGaUlCSw0II7nI6e6kkFy2ltxw/s320/minimalism+day6+part3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>The below picture is my vision board for this year. It's filled with healthy, whole foods, flowers, clean, decluttered spaces, and tons of words. I've never made a vision board quite like this one. It's more words than anything else. I don't know if I want to talk about it yet, but here's the picture. This year is going to be intense.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU_ohM-Qjl8lVVI_14TkRuOw92Us1B4t2YJe8xNQUI3QDHEgobeNa2G4oWt4HaxF0_MnTy02FgOLNZcGgnGu9GoKK0QEelFKp7VCFZzzaoQhKikOXX47rf_a5ANgH5yUn5-HjesYU2RXo/s640/vision+board.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU_ohM-Qjl8lVVI_14TkRuOw92Us1B4t2YJe8xNQUI3QDHEgobeNa2G4oWt4HaxF0_MnTy02FgOLNZcGgnGu9GoKK0QEelFKp7VCFZzzaoQhKikOXX47rf_a5ANgH5yUn5-HjesYU2RXo/s320/vision+board.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>I tried the "I love you" thing again today. Again, I had to take a long pause before it would even come out. Then I immediately said, "Oh my god, this is useless." But I changed it. I said, "No. I'm practising self-love. What you practice gets stronger." Well, it's something. </p>Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-67589321193595211332021-01-03T13:09:00.004-08:002021-01-03T13:12:32.425-08:00Basement is coming along<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>I haven't posted pictures for the past couple of days because I didn't do anything new in the house. I did take things to Goodwill and ARC on the 1st and the 2nd. It felt good to give all that away. We also took our old printer and an old monitor to Office Depot for recycling. That actually turned out to be much cheaper than I expected it to be, so that is always good! I do have another box of old electronics to take to be recycled. I'll get that done tomorrow. Today, we got a lot done in the basement. I didn't get pictures of what we got out. I thought about it in the middle of cleaning, but I was handing stuff to the kiddos to take to the trash, and I figured that I didn't want to harsh that mood! LOL. They were big helps. We got the old cabinet out. That came with the house, and it was crap when we moved in. It's just been a dust and cobweb collector, and it is far too easy to put stuff on there and forget about it. We got three big bags of trash out. I do still have to go back down and take care of some things. We had a bunch of pictures in there that I would like to hang on the wall. They all have to be cleaned because yuck! We had quite a few cans of paint left over from the remodel or rebuild if you will. Right now they are all on my porch. Technically, there were about four I could get rid of because they were empty. They were little ones. Later this afternoon and tomorrow I will be tackling those. There are some that are almost empty that need to be opened up to dry out. We also have some leftover laminate flooring and tiles on the porch right now. I'm going to put them beside the road with a free sign and see what happens. We still have a lot to do in that room. My husband has to go through all his tools and woodworking supplies, but we made HUGE progress:<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUHJt7ciKd_rb44-FozuNblcAj2alP5xKOggEAQvIfQ5EwWN6kSaawe19CY-gJ_ctfabvGgDNuyYUQMY-hwHap4Amem4OPjw6UteuFRS67bMh98Qw68kL-6VaJCio1b8acRLz5hAK3KG8/s640/minimalism+day5.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUHJt7ciKd_rb44-FozuNblcAj2alP5xKOggEAQvIfQ5EwWN6kSaawe19CY-gJ_ctfabvGgDNuyYUQMY-hwHap4Amem4OPjw6UteuFRS67bMh98Qw68kL-6VaJCio1b8acRLz5hAK3KG8/s320/minimalism+day5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCi1J3B8Ah6L01OW5V5D-ZdlPTVNlS8X1SlWl1nsQH0yBos6FxpJub1zrT9cNY-kTQthBMpCy_9UYVL0dL4oD2tgtyj5rLTMjPd8febtj5L7Bf62zCWL72T_Mi12BeV-H48tPu7vOeISM/s640/minimalism+day5+part2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCi1J3B8Ah6L01OW5V5D-ZdlPTVNlS8X1SlWl1nsQH0yBos6FxpJub1zrT9cNY-kTQthBMpCy_9UYVL0dL4oD2tgtyj5rLTMjPd8febtj5L7Bf62zCWL72T_Mi12BeV-H48tPu7vOeISM/s320/minimalism+day5+part2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwj9dcCb4bhEZByVBFIyIiKBYq3Y8BoxYnCKqbP2WFLZJUlRUKLCXG0eN6Omksdj-ioJAGccK53McGWVanrHABo2x4f7psjyuZWhuCqhGHB8PsUZvZ8bhZ3A06J_eWWZBpBDsy3NRGjmc/s640/minimalism+day5+part3.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwj9dcCb4bhEZByVBFIyIiKBYq3Y8BoxYnCKqbP2WFLZJUlRUKLCXG0eN6Omksdj-ioJAGccK53McGWVanrHABo2x4f7psjyuZWhuCqhGHB8PsUZvZ8bhZ3A06J_eWWZBpBDsy3NRGjmc/s320/minimalism+day5+part3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmLMTK8_9u5YbE36-xMzbCBN77nyfJC28e91BB9orl4zm6jeBUHa-MPdZjT1McsupS7oyeF8UoK4tPB-PfX1s9pGMC5ftrgqBTbpY_j_WOhGeL5ny7KtasxOHndOK841tPJs-n3mwKvAs/s640/minimalism+day5+part4.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmLMTK8_9u5YbE36-xMzbCBN77nyfJC28e91BB9orl4zm6jeBUHa-MPdZjT1McsupS7oyeF8UoK4tPB-PfX1s9pGMC5ftrgqBTbpY_j_WOhGeL5ny7KtasxOHndOK841tPJs-n3mwKvAs/s320/minimalism+day5+part4.jpg" /></a></div>The last picture is because we finally have a door knob on the basement door! I'm frustrated that I have to say, "Hey! Would you put the door knob on the door?" It still feels like I'm "in charge" instead of having a partner, but it's a start I guess. <div><br /></div><div>I'm glad to have that done. Well, I'm glad to have MORE done anyway. I mean, we're only on day 5. Our goal for this month though is to get rid of our storage shed. We have had a storage shed since our flood. It feels like there's just a bunch of crap in there. I know it's not "just crap," but if we haven't needed it in two years, we need to get rid of it. Right? My oldest daughter has some of her stuff from college in there. A lot of it will be helpful when she gets her own place after she graduates. My parents also have some things they are storing in there. They moved from a house to a studio apartment when they moved to Colorado last year. We have plenty of room in that basement to store everything we need to store though. I'll be tackling the storage shed next weekend. </div><div><br /></div><div>The second "M" that is guiding my 2021 is mindfulness. Having C-PTSD it is very easy for me to "check out." It's not just the PTSD though. It is common for people to drift through a good deal of their lives mindlessly. It's one of the reasons I decided to blog again. I watched a short TED talk last night about mindfulness. I'm going to post it below when I am done. I would like to make meditation a regular practice. I used to meditate when I was young, and I really enjoyed it. It rejuvenated me. I haven't been meditating, but I have been doing some breathing exercises. I have been doing Dr. Weil's 4-7-8 breathing technique. Now, I don't think it is the life changer that he says it is, but I do think it is very helpful. Who knows? Maybe some people have major life changes. It's a good technique though. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/p8fjYPC-k2k" width="320" youtube-src-id="p8fjYPC-k2k"></iframe></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I'm going to try and get my kids to listen to this TED talk and maybe even try what she says. I think my whole family could benefit from meditation. It just seems like we are all so high strung lately. We don't have the patience with each other that we really should have. Our family harmony is not very harmonious. We love each other, but we don't seem to give each other very much grace. I'm trying to start with me and set a good example. I'm still failing miserably, but I wake up every day and try again. I know how important it is to take care of myself. If I don't, I will not have anything left for anyone else. That's a hard thing for a mom though. Everyone seems to always need something from me. I'm still working all that out. I'm a work in progress. In this following video, she talks about saying, "I love you," to yourself every morning. She talks about how she couldn't do it at first. I thought, "Oh, that's silly. I can do that." Turns out, I couldn't. I tried last night, but I couldn't. It felt too wrong. It felt like a lie. It felt stupid. So, I did what she said. I put my hand on my heart and said, "Good night, Misty." Then I went to bed. This morning I tried again. I put my hand on my heart and said, "Good morning, Misty." Still I couldn't say, "I love you." I stood there for at least two minutes just looking in the mirror. Then I said it. Man, did that feel weird. My next immediate thought was, "You're an idiot." Ouch. Not helpful. I'll try again tomorrow. Maybe that will be my mantra for 2021 - I'll try again tomorrow. No. Dr. Shauna Shapiro in the meditation Ted talk says, "What you practice becomes stronger." So, how about - I'll practice again tomorrow.</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/IeblJdB2-Vo" width="320" youtube-src-id="IeblJdB2-Vo"></iframe></div><br /></div>Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-1626106412650476192020-12-31T11:35:00.000-08:002020-12-31T11:35:44.869-08:00A fresh start<p> I haven't been on this blog for a very long time. Honestly, I didn't realized that I had blogged some in 2015, so that was a bit of a surprise when I logged on today. The intervening, gosh, almost six years, have been..... well..... full. I completed my bachelor of music in music composition. I completed my master of music in choral conducting. My two oldest children graduated high school and have gone to college. We had a house flood that displaced us for more than four months. My oldest brother died very suddenly of cancer. My other brother stopped speaking to me. My parents moved to Colorado, and then my mother was placed in Hospice care. I have been in counseling to deal with compound PTSD. We lost our sweet girl Janie and adopted Piper, D-Mack, Fisher, and Jesse. So, yea, it's been full.</p><p>I have decided to get off of most forms of social media. I have been on Facebook since 2008, and I really enjoy being able to catch up with my friends and follow their lives. However, I always feel like I need to speak up when I see racism, homophobia, sexism, etc. The problem is that I don't really think it helps for the most part because it is usually with random strangers. It is causing so much negativity in my life that it is effecting my mental health. I will continue to stand against hatred, but it has to be in a different form. I thought about blogging and realized that it is totally different for me. It is much easier to use it as an outlet but still keep a positive attitude. Blogging is really for me. So.... I guess I'll give blogging another go.</p><p>So many hard and traumatic things have happened over the past ten years that it is sometimes challenging to forge ahead with positivity. I find myself struggling to keep my head above water. I have amazing children, and I really want to be present for them. It's felt like I've been existing sometimes but not really living. I am making some big changes, and I am hoping that blogging about them will help me to not give up and keep going. I am half joking calling 2021 the year of Ms. I don't know how much of it I will talk about on this blog. No one reads it, but it is public, so we'll see.</p><p>I have been drawn toward minimalism for years. Also, I have had a hard time connecting with my home since moving back in after the flood. It doesn't feel like a home. It feels like an uncomfortable place where we spend time. The past couple of months I have been trying to work on that and make it feel more like a home. I have made some great strides, and it is feeling better. We have a big, loud, rambuctuous family. We also have a good size house, but during a pandemic, it feels not that big. I am commiting to living a more minimalist lifestyle in an effort to make my home feel more comforting and welcoming as well as giving me more time and space to do the things I love. </p><p>I have been decluttering for a while. It was hard after moving back in. I finally realized that we lost things, some things that were really important to me, in the flood. Because of that, I was having trouble letting go of anything. I think I still struggle with that a little bit, but I am getting better. Some of the pictures I post might be a little embarrassing, but I want them to remember how far I have come. I want to make permanent changes. Finally, I think my husband is on board which has been a hinderance in the past. I started my official road to minimalism on the 28th, two days ago. I was having awful vertigo, and I felt defeated because I thought I couldn't do anything because of it. Instead of giving in, I asked my husband to put this big container up on the bed. It is a container of stuff that had been in our bedroom for literaly months. I tackled it. I also spent a bit of time traveling down memory lane because I found a whole bunch of old photos in there. That made me realize that I love scrapbooking. I really love it, but I haven't been able to do it forever because whenever I get my supplies out, things get so cluttered that it is uncomfortable.</p><p>I need to make sure that I have space to do crafting. That is one goal with minimizing my life. I know that some minimalist purists would say that my goals aren't in line with minimalism. Well, I don't care what they think. I'm going to do this in the way that will benefit me and my family, and then I'll go from there. My goals may change along the way. We'll see. For now, I am forging ahead. I keeping this online journal to help me. If anyone does find this blog and wants to leave words of encouragement or share your own journey, that would be great. If no one reads this blog, that's cool, too. It's for me. </p><p>Here are pictures of my first two "official" days of minimalism. This mound of stuff is the box I mentioned earlier. The cat leg in the back is Fisher. He was "helping." LOL. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7h-is-BiUeALKq_C6l4zhrmQYFaNTQIIWWWAYd4bKuUjElzbbaM7VReY7BaOQWBKvmU5o5iYryU5Yctsxa40dYuBVDkNH7S1fTwjynZUOJAdgsnCo6bUlNbrj2vm9OCwPW_iTowIY_4o/s640/minimalism+day1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7h-is-BiUeALKq_C6l4zhrmQYFaNTQIIWWWAYd4bKuUjElzbbaM7VReY7BaOQWBKvmU5o5iYryU5Yctsxa40dYuBVDkNH7S1fTwjynZUOJAdgsnCo6bUlNbrj2vm9OCwPW_iTowIY_4o/s320/minimalism+day1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>The second picture is what was left when I was finished. There were a few things that were put up where they belonged. There was a lot of things that I trashed, and there were a few things put in a bag to go to Goodwill. The octavos were from CU (oops), so I sent them back. The doll and Mickey are my kids' keepsakes, so they were put up in keepsake boxes. It wasn't a big start, but it made me feel really good. It was something that had stared at me for quite some time. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-UHbIZmi1JofQ_rlJHGiKPMzTAApRcK_f4sraITc7mbg1g2XzcnzlpxWa8mgOn-fqZPstJzQd-zydz5gLV7jZHi3fm9scy-yRXPi6v-UT_uBhqYxnva0oVMJ3Mj2iOjyOzSr8ftPgd6E/s640/minimalism+day1+part2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-UHbIZmi1JofQ_rlJHGiKPMzTAApRcK_f4sraITc7mbg1g2XzcnzlpxWa8mgOn-fqZPstJzQd-zydz5gLV7jZHi3fm9scy-yRXPi6v-UT_uBhqYxnva0oVMJ3Mj2iOjyOzSr8ftPgd6E/s320/minimalism+day1+part2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />On day two, my oldest son helped me tackle a major problem area. We have a workshop/storage room in the basement. It's where the furnace and water heater are housed, and it is an unfinished room. It could be a usable space though. It has just been a dumping ground and no one really goes in there. These pictures are embarrassing, but here goes:<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH_dd-n-jPYe6hbv7-l10yb0lmKpJszwDtRUdS_6fNnKzbeAd8Higccu6OZoxs_HmgSk9xM8iUAAOUuHD2ZiIWLICLJVkMrjQdBWfqR53Qbri7dTsJmQW-2oJSyNkEm1JoT8A7Oh99Pdc/s640/minimalism+day2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH_dd-n-jPYe6hbv7-l10yb0lmKpJszwDtRUdS_6fNnKzbeAd8Higccu6OZoxs_HmgSk9xM8iUAAOUuHD2ZiIWLICLJVkMrjQdBWfqR53Qbri7dTsJmQW-2oJSyNkEm1JoT8A7Oh99Pdc/s320/minimalism+day2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW3PhknWlmKEX-n6EDJhnh0x7H1jBucNJEEsXH3Y3_EQUPLgINeQf94-ulylFbQetU7Tzhn4z2bYorFBEB_KxsRHGMX_KS9DnSL7o7mfSWOqaR3GyxGzi2_tynipEFm_srF4mEmXURNXI/s640/minimalism+day2+part2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW3PhknWlmKEX-n6EDJhnh0x7H1jBucNJEEsXH3Y3_EQUPLgINeQf94-ulylFbQetU7Tzhn4z2bYorFBEB_KxsRHGMX_KS9DnSL7o7mfSWOqaR3GyxGzi2_tynipEFm_srF4mEmXURNXI/s320/minimalism+day2+part2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9-IpM2dzsDwIx28xy_BMh_L5kSmioW8IkBin3seByvmMgqSaP-VWEieD7Ntja1Uu8EgQRum1ybRehdALv3K_CkFXyDnRKVKL__KHd1xk4kar06CzLxvKH2acLf1JIIpmIC4-G-IId4i8/s640/minimalism+day2+part3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9-IpM2dzsDwIx28xy_BMh_L5kSmioW8IkBin3seByvmMgqSaP-VWEieD7Ntja1Uu8EgQRum1ybRehdALv3K_CkFXyDnRKVKL__KHd1xk4kar06CzLxvKH2acLf1JIIpmIC4-G-IId4i8/s320/minimalism+day2+part3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR_8ErcD_6hIDNNyTe4c0sZ-ezWhQQvBqpQYvSrUIWEWtdqfyyxq-zrLGO7kGyUZSolGx524CTjvlupYHIfUVeizv42r5VTUHGXHwKdjmytPxMGP1ysde5KhlknXuFAHfWi0f1hgeL13U/s640/minimalism+day1+part4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR_8ErcD_6hIDNNyTe4c0sZ-ezWhQQvBqpQYvSrUIWEWtdqfyyxq-zrLGO7kGyUZSolGx524CTjvlupYHIfUVeizv42r5VTUHGXHwKdjmytPxMGP1ysde5KhlknXuFAHfWi0f1hgeL13U/s320/minimalism+day1+part4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Yes, it was bad. It's still not good, but it's much, much better. I did not take after pictures because there is still a lot to do, but here is what we got out of there:<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJqRUpfRvIJgXYx7H-UmDomNpI6HtTcUgmtnMUAiVx_X0UmfZ86-tDNWnXBfdzl4wGzB5XK7E-i4qNfjJNGSw1B-dkstqCxi0mHqF58e7BLe2A8Gzvc_goCKjw5Fiv6jYooljF02Ilgaw/s640/minimalism+day2+part5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJqRUpfRvIJgXYx7H-UmDomNpI6HtTcUgmtnMUAiVx_X0UmfZ86-tDNWnXBfdzl4wGzB5XK7E-i4qNfjJNGSw1B-dkstqCxi0mHqF58e7BLe2A8Gzvc_goCKjw5Fiv6jYooljF02Ilgaw/s320/minimalism+day2+part5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMBwwY7KoSVPEtHbEzj8RW5p6PA52kDuJhYdBYfSVkXuMc6I67PTj3fP16usXZGk29cUSaVPWIh5t6ZazI0EQV3Yqx2EXyad8knfiHfxeM7g_LVxiI2ouTQ2HFkJpKkHlz3oAV_63jOZI/s640/minimalism+day2+part6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMBwwY7KoSVPEtHbEzj8RW5p6PA52kDuJhYdBYfSVkXuMc6I67PTj3fP16usXZGk29cUSaVPWIh5t6ZazI0EQV3Yqx2EXyad8knfiHfxeM7g_LVxiI2ouTQ2HFkJpKkHlz3oAV_63jOZI/s320/minimalism+day2+part6.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div>That is a lot of stuff! Some of it was trash. Some of it is bound for the thrift store. Some of it is old electronics that we have to recycle. My son was a huge help. When my husband came home, he even jumped in and went through two boxes of his stuff. The second picture is of the things he got rid of. It felt incredibly good to get that done. Of course, all the giveaway is in the back of Dora the Explorer right now, but it is going to Goodwill very soon. </div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, so that just scratches the surface, but it's a good start. Until next time...... :)</div>Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-88902858829881426182015-02-16T21:26:00.000-08:002015-02-16T21:26:37.037-08:00I don't wanna....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have the amazing opportunity of being the student assistant conductor of our university's top auditioned choir this year. It is a fabulous opportunity, and I am thrilled beyond belief. I have been assigned a song to rehearse and perform with the choir. It's crazy to me the issues with the song. There is a part of me that doesn't want the choir to ever learn the piece, so the conductor will have to take it away from me. Luckily, there's a bigger part of me that wants to be successful. The piece, at its heart, is all about grief. Therein lies the problem. At first, I would only look at the surface of the piece. The conductor forced me to dig deeper. I didn't want to. I really didn't want to. When I did, I cried, and then cried some more. I haven't really delved into the emotional content of the piece with the choir yet because we are still learning notes. We're coming close to the end of that though. We only have one section left to learn before we really start putting it together. Then I will have to face it. I don't really want to burst into tears in front of the choir, but there is a very real possibility of that happening. There is a big part of me that does not want to go there. How can I ever been an effective choral director if I am not willing to let the music rip me raw? The problem is that this piece touches on something SO raw and SO recent. I'm not going to lie, I have also been angry. I really wanted to be angry with the director for giving me this piece. I mean, seriously? What the hell? Of all the pieces that she could have picked for me, she picked this one? And yes, she knows me well. Did she think about that when she picked it? I don't know. I'm not sure I want to ask because I haven't really dealt with all the emotion attached it yet. I don't know if she realizes how emotional it has all been for me, but I think she does. It's not about her though. It's about me. Can I handle this? I have to go there, but I don't want to. How the hell am I supposed to do it right? I have a vested interest not just because this is what I want to do professionally, but because I am determined to make Nick proud. This whole thing is just nuts. I don't know if I am strong enough, but I have to figure out how to be. </div>
Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-3388106982907634262015-01-24T21:06:00.001-08:002015-01-24T21:14:10.375-08:00Stupid Dreams<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I am getting really sick of bad dreams. Ever since my nephew died, I have been plagued by bad dreams and nightmares. I just found out that my sister-in-law and other family in Idaho have been as well. I guess it's not an unusual reaction to grief, but it is getting really old. My dreams are mostly about my children, or I just wake up frightened or panicky and can't remember the dream. Last night I had a bad dream about a dear friend. I told her it was only a matter of time until my brain's cycling would include her. I have been very overprotective of my family and friends for the past couple of months. I guess my brain just feels the need to freak me out even more at night. How do you get your brain to just chill the frick out? Ugh.<br />
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My brain seems to be going overtime - all the time. It's not always a bad thing. I've been processing a lot. My oldest daughter and I went to see Imitation Game the other day. It is the story of Alan Turing, and the movie shows some of the horrific bullying that he endured as a child. It was pretty triggering. It really got me thinking though. Some people feel like we just have to "move past" what happened to us as children. I'm beginning to believe that what happens to us always sticks with us. It always shapes our experiences. It only stops controlling us when we stop allowing it to define us. We never "move past," we just learn that we are more than the sum of our experiences.<br />
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I went to a wedding today. I realized that it was the first wedding I'd gone to since my nephew Nick married his love Suzy. It was weird. It was also my church's first same sex wedding. I was honored to sing in the choir. I was also a little glad that I didn't really know the couple. I kept thinking about Nick and Suzy, and I'm pretty sure I would have just bawled if I'd known this couple better.<br />
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The whole "crying thing" has been on my mind a lot lately, too. It seems like my heart just gets ripped up all the time. I'm beginning to be okay with that, too. Yes, sometimes it's exhausting, but I don't think I hate that. It hurts, but I think I'd rather feel things fully. That's weird to say, but I also feel joy deep inside of me in ways that I haven't always. I often feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster, but right now - that's okay. I have always spent a great deal of time with self protection, but I am strong. I get the shit kicked out of me and get back up and keep going. Terrible things are going to keep happening. I can't change that, but I can live. I don't want to stuff who I am. People will either like me for me, or they won't. That is their choice not mine. I'm not going to change who I am to please other people anymore.<br />
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I would appreciate it my brain would begin to work things out in a way that doesn't include nightly terror, however. So, how about it brain? New tactic maybe?</div>
Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-14728645971139466972015-01-17T09:24:00.000-08:002015-01-17T09:24:14.871-08:00When a chapter comes to an end<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi2dl4-RJVYixMf9stUJGhgxRQWp4ASZHa6D4wj4kUQ5EIW64ojCrjdk5o40TNATwTRxYFOUAhrPJz9U1RKHV29HKDiJyS6gPRhbiN_dY5iY2vcwYFGWMlrf2GyyP-rk9durn_yzVjdSQ/s1600/mountains.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi2dl4-RJVYixMf9stUJGhgxRQWp4ASZHa6D4wj4kUQ5EIW64ojCrjdk5o40TNATwTRxYFOUAhrPJz9U1RKHV29HKDiJyS6gPRhbiN_dY5iY2vcwYFGWMlrf2GyyP-rk9durn_yzVjdSQ/s1600/mountains.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
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The past few days I have spent in the mountains with a really great group of people. I have the opportunity to sing for our university's top auditioned choir, and every year between the fall and spring semesters we have a retreat in Estes Park. It's pretty fabulous. We sing and bond, and it is wonderful. I am graduating in December which means this was my last retreat. I spent some time during the retreat out on the big porch overlooking the Rocky Mountains. It was peaceful and contemplative. I could feel that this portion of my life is coming to an end. I love this school, the department, and the people. Singing with the Chorale felt very bittersweet. I absolutely adore our director, and she is amazing. I love the people. Yet, I still felt this tug for it to be over. There's an emotional part of me that really wants to hang onto it all. The rational part of my brain though is whispering, "It's almost over, and that's okay. It's getting time for you to move on." Looking around at our "circle of friendship" on the last night, I savored every second and tried to get clear snapshots in my brain. The experience is something that I will always treasure, and I am forever changed by it. I think I'm ready to finish. I'm almost ready for the next chapter.</div>
Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-43622036860202002242015-01-09T15:41:00.003-08:002015-01-09T15:41:33.586-08:00Trying to stay upright<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I had no idea what to title this post, but "trying to stay upright" sounded fitting. Last night we had a lot of ice, and I, of course, took quite a tumble. I landed on my elbow, and as I laid there on the frozen sidewalk crying out in pain, all I could think of was, "Are you kidding me?!" As a choral conductor, my right elbow is, well, pretty much my most important body part. I was so afraid that I had broken it. I had private conducting lessons, my own choir, a pretty cool thing that hasn't been announced yet (which I will keep quiet even though nobody reads this blog anymore and it is just for me!), and grad school coming up (hoping to get my masters in choral conducting), plus, I am supposed to play the viola in the school sinfonietta this semester. Luckily, my elbow is just very bruised. I'm a little paranoid about falling though. I've been going to the gym and jogging. Olivia and Raymond talked me into running a half marathon with them later this year, so I have started training. I can't run far yet. I ran 1.2 miles yesterday, so I only have to add 11.9 by May. Ugh. It's all good..... I couldn't run today though because it would be too jarring for my elbow. That was really frustrating. I hate trying to get on track and having things knock me off. I can't do anything right now because moving around hurts.<br />
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I know this will sound whiny, but I am just ready for things to go smoothly for a while. I am so tired of having to "be strong," "make lemonade out of lemons," "go with the flow," and all that other bullshit. For the past four years, everything I have done has scared me, but I've done it anyway. I've fallen flat on my face, but gotten up and kept going. I have things thrown at me, and I've handled them. I feel like I should feel pretty awesome sauce about all of that, but honestly, I am just tired. I'm beaten down. Sometimes I look back on the past four years and see how I have succeeded, but sometimes I just see the struggle.<br />
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I'm grouchy, I'm in pain, and I am rambling......</div>
Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-90417208477640823422015-01-06T13:50:00.000-08:002015-01-06T13:50:09.000-08:00Living on the edge of panic<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Yes - living on the edge of panic seems to encompass most of my life. I never feel "good enough" to do it all. After the end of last semester, I told myself that my new mantra is, "I am capable." I think I should put that on big poster board all over the house. I get so overwhelmed and feel as if there is no way that I could possibly do everything that needs to be done. I feel as if I will always fail. Yet, here I am still moving forward. Even after the hell of losing my nephew last semester, I managed to pull out pretty darn good grades. I had a 17 hour semester and my grades were all As and one A-. Not bad. I AM actually capable.<br />
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Right now, school is starting in two weeks, and I feel like I am NOT ready. I am trying to pull together everything for the restart of the choir, and I am still scrambling to find singers and replace three that left - two just told me this week. I am trying hard to get my home life organized - no small feat to manage the affairs of seven busy people. I'm trying to make a place for joy in my heart, but sometimes the grief really wants to take over. I AM capable - darn it. I am capable, and I will figure everything out.<br />
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On Sunday, I looked at a friend and said, "Can I have a hug?" She gave me an awesome, strong hug. It was a little boost that I needed. I didn't tell her, "Hey, I feel like I'm drowning, and I need a life line!" That's what I feel like sometimes though. Since I can't stalk her and beg for hugs every day, I am trying to find buoys to hold onto. I'm trying hard to be mindful with everything. It's so easy for me to check out. I don't know what I'm doing, but I am plowing ahead anyway. </div>
Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-74736799201491139072015-01-04T18:48:00.004-08:002015-01-04T18:48:55.695-08:00Treasure map<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have a lot to say in my mind, but not much of it wants to come out today. In honor of my quest to return to blogging, I am going to make a short post anyway. A couple of days ago, I made a treasure map for this year. I've always wanted to do that, and some years I've even gathered the supplies and made headway. This year, I have a complete map. I pretty much love it. It's strange how it is already changing the way I look at my days. It keeps the things in the forefront of my mind. I've made decisions after thinking about the map. Crazy. It's just cut out pictures and words from old magazines that I bought at the thrift store for $.69 each. I have the word "peace" on my map. Church is where I find peace. It's a little strange that I've found such a home where I have. I grew up Seventh-day Adventist, and they pretty much hate everything that Catholics stand for. I had a teacher who spent an entire day trying to convince us that the pope was behind the assassination of JFK. The Episcopal church is different from the Catholic church, of course, but in the eyes of the SDA, they're quite similar. There is something about the ritual and ceremony that really speaks to me and brings me peace. I find things at this church that I have never found anywhere else. I'm slowly figuring out why I love my "new" church so much. One thing I realized today is that I have a sense of history with this church. The rituals in this church connect me with a history that I've never experienced.<br />
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I don't know how the year will play out or if my treasure map will really influence the year at all. I am curious to find out. Maybe I will blog about the changes I make because of the map. Thinking of Nick and trying to honor him by truly living is causing me to look at things in a very different way.<br />
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Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-30020515354845148702015-01-03T13:51:00.000-08:002015-01-03T13:57:27.906-08:00What to write....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
November 2, 2010, I decided to make some big changes in my life. I had been just coasting through life not really living, and I was miserable. I knew I did not want to continue on the way I had. I wrote a blog post about deciding that it was okay to cry (Which incidentally I took to heart, and pretty much have not stopped crying in over four years. Who knew years worth of tears would take so long to come out?). Since then, I have only written 8 posts, and in those posts have been very little personal information. I'm not sure I remember how to blog anymore. I think that writing is important to me though. In the past four years, I have gone back to college, graduated - summa cum laude (go me!), gone back to school again, double majored, accomplished more than I ever thought I could, performed in a school musical, inducted into two honor societies, elected chapter president of one of those honor societies, selected to participate in a conducting master class, started a choir, and dealt with heartbreaking personal tragedies.<br />
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My whole life I have struggled with depression. Interestingly, living an inauthentic life tended to smooth that part over somewhat. I think I just lived in a constant state of minor depression. Choosing to fully live life and to confront my fears head on has also brought the depression into full view. In four years of college, I have survived three bouts of suicidal depression. The last one was a real doozy. Two of the worst years of my life have been since I went back to school. 2012 brought me to my knees. 2014 nearly ended me. I have always entered into a new year with optimism and deep hope. There is something about that arbitrary date that brings such promise. I always make New Year's resolutions, and I nearly always make great progress with them. This year is different. This year I enter the new year with a deep sense of apprehension. The thing I keep saying over and over is, "I just want to survive."<br />
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Nearly two months ago, my beloved nephew was killed in a vehicle crash. When I first heard, I think I was in deep shock. I didn't even cry for hours. I just sat there comforting my children and staring into space unable or unwilling to believe it. I'm not really certain still how to process it all. Some days I'm just angry. Other days there is a deep, constant ache. Still other days, I cry at for practically any reason - a broken glass, a misplaced shoe, a sad story on FB. The anger also feels like it shows up sometimes arbitrarily. Other times, it is pretty obvious the source. Today on the way to rehearsal, some idiot nearly caused a major crash when she pulled in front of me without looking. The things that came out of my mouth were decidedly un-Christian. I place great value in kindness, and I try to live my life with kindness as an important value. I feel like it has taken a backseat over the past couple of months.<br />
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Grief sucks. I wrote this about grief recently: <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">Sometimes grief is like a massive winter wind gust. It hits you out of nowhere. It overwhelms you with icy wind that gets into every pore. It leaves you shivering uncontrollably. Sometimes grief is like a pesky, little pebble in your shoe that is there every moment of every day that you cannot ignore begging for attention that you don't want to give it. Then sometimes grief is like a constant downpour that you get caught in without an umbrella. It completely covers you and you cannot escape it. Grief sucks.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">" </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><br /></span></span>
Right now, I feel incredibly selfish. It has been less than a year since I survived (and yes, I have taken to saying "survived") my worst bout of suicidal depression. Late February to early April, I was in a horrendous, massive hole of suicidal depression. When I started school in the fall, I wrote a little about it for a Women's Studies class that I was taking. I said that I felt very protective of my space because after surviving that, I felt a little like I'd been hit by a truck. I still felt like I was recovering when my nephew was killed. People who deal with that level of depression know that when you're "over it," it feels in some way like "remission." We don't know when or if it is going to come back. We assume that it will and hope that it won't. The terror of being stalked by the suicidal monster is constant and draining. I'm afraid to truly give myself to grief because I am afraid that the monster will attack when I am down. I also know that hiding from grief allows the monster a foothold. It is a serious catch-22.<br />
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My nephew was an incredible young man. I loved watching him grow and learn. I loved being a part of his life. His spirit was infectious. I have always been afraid of everything. I think that is the biggest reason that school has been so challenging for me. I do things of which I am afraid every damn day. Everything I do is a stretch outside of my comfort zone. I'm so exhausted after four years. Nick was an inspiration to people, including me. He was the biggest reason I kept going to school after we came back from saying goodbye. He once told me that he was proud of me for going back to school. I had to keep going. I finished out that semester with very good grades: all As and one A-. Now, I have to do it for me though. I have had wonderful people to help me along. It really has to be me now though. Nick has inspired me to totally live large. I started this process by working through my fears. I am a different person than I was four years ago. I faced my fears, but I honestly still did that with a big brick barrier surrounding me.<br />
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On Monday of finals week in December, I had a conducting final. My professor is someone for whom I have the greatest respect, but she is also quite intimidating. I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to perform for her and do well without being so fearful. It's something that I have worked on for all performances. I think I managed to just learn to really check out. I stopped falling on my face, but everything I did was, "Not bad, but not great either." Something happened at that final. I was stripped raw somehow. I was scared to death. My knees were shaking, my hands were shaking, my mouth was dry, my fingers were freezing - all the makings of a disaster for me. Then something amazing happened. I killed it. In spite of the fear, in spite of the physical symptoms - I killed it. I did not check out. I was fully present for every second. I felt every movement, every tremble. I truly lived that moment, and I killed it. It wasn't perfect. I made mistakes. I still killed it. Nick inspired me to live. Nick inspired me to be fully present for what I love. It was quite a moment for me. I made another change as well. When I got my feedback form, I had negative feedback on a particular technique. Normally, it would have really bothered me, and I would have obsessed over how to fix it. I've watched the video over and over. I also realized that this one particular thing is something this professor has had an issue with the entire time she's been instructing me. Here's the thing, and this is a big one for me, I am okay with it. She doesn't like it, and I am okay with that because I do like it. If you know how obsessive and anal retentive I can be, you understand how huge this is. I like the way I do this thing, and she doesn't, and I am okay with that.<br />
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This particular blog post has been a little all over the place, but that is the way I am right now. I don't know what this year is going to be like. I am learning to embrace the unknown rather than fear it. I've spent my life in fear. Nick is inspiring me to live in anticipation. It's a process of baby steps. It's a bit of a dance with forward steps followed by backward steps which hopefully keep some kind of forward momentum. My theme for this year is mindfulness. I don't want to just survive. I want to learn to truly live. I want to be fully present for everything. That is a little terrifying, but if you aren't fully present for the demons, I don't think you can be fully present for the joy either. I've come through so much. I am going to face this year with my Nick's spirit holding my hand. It's not fair because I should be the one behind him, giving him encouragement, being the weird aunt in the cheering section waving the slightly embarrassing signs, and saying outdated things like, "Rock on Dude!" He was taken from us. The only way I know to honor his memory is to live. I know if there's a way, he'll be by my side whispering in my ear, "You can do it!"</div>
Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-51800586528135130262014-05-16T08:56:00.001-07:002014-05-16T15:44:16.606-07:00My body is bad ass<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Yes. It is. I, like so many women, have struggled with body image for, well, all of my life. My weight has gone up and down. I have been overweight when I have been jogging and eating super healthy, I have been skinny when I was eating horribly. I have felt that my self esteem has been tied to my weight, but the truth is that my self esteem has just always been low. I just thought I should have higher self esteem when I was thin. I have spent a great deal of my life pretending to be what people think I should be. My body image has been tied to many issues for me. I read recently a quote about how we are not discovering ourselves, we are creating ourselves. I completely agree. The past few months have been teaching me many lessons.<br />
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1. I do not have to be a "nice girl." When I was very young, I was bullied relentlessly. Because of those experiences, I learned to be "pleaser." I can find a way to get along with almost anyone. That's not a bad trait, but the downside to it is that I often sacrifice me to "play nice." It has cost me big time recently. I deserve to speak up for myself. The nice girl is gone. She is being replaced by a strong, confident, secure woman who actually deserves to be heard and respected.<br />
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2. Shit happens, and it's okay to be upset about it. I get knocked down, but I never stay down for long. I am always bouncing back and saying that things were tough, but I have such a charmed life that I can't stay down. It's just a coping mechanism. In having that attitude, I have only pushed aside things that really need to come to light. I've been trying to punch through things that are pretty darn heavy. It's actually okay to be upset when life hands you a shitty deal. It's okay to grieve when horrible things happen. It's okay to REALLY grieve. Grief is a part of life. It does not have to be pushed away and there is no time limit. Do I want to get caught in a never ending cycle of depression? No, but I will tell you this, ignoring the problem and pushing through only puts the problem aside for later.<br />
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3. My body is bad ass. This one might be the toughest for me. Actually, there is no might, this one is the toughest for me. But, it is all true. My body is bad ass. My body has kept me going for nearly 42 years. My body has kept kicking through physical and emotional bullying. My body has ridden hundreds of miles on a bike. My body has climbed mountains and hiked through backwoods. My body has laid wattles all day on a mountain to prevent erosion after wild fires. My body has done physical labor. My body has survived dangerous falls and car crashes. My body has survived illnesses. My body has survived surgery without proper pain medication. My body has survived physical abuse. My body has survived attempted suicide. My body has survived sexual abuse. My body grew and birthed five beautiful, amazing human beings. My body provided milk for those growing people. My body has shown children how to serve a volleyball, hit a baseball, shoot a basketball, and kick a soccer ball. My body learned how to sing again after years and years of not singing. My body has cheered loudly and excitedly over and over for kids I know and kids I don't as they pushed their own bodies in sports. My body danced every night for eight weeks in a show with people half my age. My body has withstood excruciating bouts of insomnia on a level that most people believe only happens in a Stephen King novel. My body kept me going when I had to say goodbye to the closest thing I've ever had to a sister. My body has withstood the cold while I stood with others in solidarity. My body has learned to feel deeply again through music. My body has hugged friends and family in joy, sorrow, comfort, love, and goodbye. My body has embraced strangers at the scene of car wrecks, during national and local tragedies, and in pure joy of a shared triumph. My body has given comfort, strength, and courage to others. Amazingly, NOT ONE SINGLE TIME did it matter one damn bit if I had scars, stretch marks, pimples, or cellulite. It didn't matter if I was overweight or underweight. It didn't matter if my nose was too round, my hips too wide, my hair was graying, or my arms too flabby. There is no other conclusion. My body is bad ass. I owe my body an apology for all the loathing. If we truly are creating ourselves then from this point forward, this bad ass body is housing a bad ass woman. Watch out world!</div>
Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-24084853927643560922013-04-22T17:07:00.000-07:002013-04-22T17:07:04.351-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-37886158605928983172011-12-03T21:59:00.000-08:002011-12-03T22:02:17.063-08:00World's Most Spoiled Rotten Dog<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz5ay3hwp2WGkO1lKJKJK_TvbuD9sAKhehd87ErUGa44to2iCFbWRbe7-yEoVh-kGMy46HKnddWEfiMwXKvfXvOkxs9XqlizY59VNkAR0YgB1r8K_sWOCpo2rQ2yKD6kqb2Q_cp-JwsKA/s1600/376287_2473959600876_1009017804_32701124_1589819484_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 299px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz5ay3hwp2WGkO1lKJKJK_TvbuD9sAKhehd87ErUGa44to2iCFbWRbe7-yEoVh-kGMy46HKnddWEfiMwXKvfXvOkxs9XqlizY59VNkAR0YgB1r8K_sWOCpo2rQ2yKD6kqb2Q_cp-JwsKA/s400/376287_2473959600876_1009017804_32701124_1589819484_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5682149115647593922" /></a><br />Okay - seriously? Is this NOT the world's most spoiled dog? <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkz4JrppoA5GD9x7Ykgt9rRJJSo273Ty7rA4kF1EFyHXqt1J1hujDguu2uef77WvTk9HzBrPPZSIU1IxlT2K751R3syYJvQIIoH-VRDcW-ab91mWpA2xW2MSp8KwuQgsmSYiBwxr_FXPY/s1600/166897_2473820917409_1009017804_32701080_1033051619_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkz4JrppoA5GD9x7Ykgt9rRJJSo273Ty7rA4kF1EFyHXqt1J1hujDguu2uef77WvTk9HzBrPPZSIU1IxlT2K751R3syYJvQIIoH-VRDcW-ab91mWpA2xW2MSp8KwuQgsmSYiBwxr_FXPY/s400/166897_2473820917409_1009017804_32701080_1033051619_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5682149193404899554" /></a><br />What a rotten thing. He had to be right in between us! LOL.Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-10896014881000176752011-11-29T20:16:00.001-08:002011-11-29T20:34:35.908-08:00Probably should have taken a pictureOkay, so I am not the most organized. I am also not the best mom, but I try hard. Fast forward to tonight. I am sick. I have an audition and a performance tomorrow! So, I'm already a little freaked out. I'm still memorizing the French words to one of my songs that I needed to work on tonight. I've had many friends give me different idea to try and naturally kick this cold's butt. I wanted to look at my music, so that I could practice the newest phrase while in the shower. So, here I am with this cinnamon paste on my forehead (nasal cavity area), and I'm searching the house looking frantically for my music. My daughter tells me that my sons often gets his white folder and my white folder mixed up. I run into his room and flip on the light looking through his room for my folder. "Son! Have you seen my folder? Did you get it mixed up with yours?" "Mom? What's wrong with your head?" Oh nothing. I just have a cinnamon paste on it that looks like a bindi on crack! "Don't worry about it! I need my folder!" LOL. Here's my "relaxing" shower: hot water on the chest and back to break up the congestion, salt water in my makeshift neti pot to flush my nose, and a careful washing of the forehead, so that I don't get any cinnamon paste in my eyes - all while singing my newest French phrase! After I got out, I smeared my chest with a menthol rub. So, I have a cinnamon-y forehead, a salty nose, and a menthol-y chest! Yummy - not. I hope something works!!!Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-89630980613351959522011-11-28T17:36:00.000-08:002011-11-28T17:45:14.935-08:00Finally - pictures!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg21XNc2CO_VDTVCzUFlY2kkDE3hWLnn3fjX1MFnLa_4mcsyTMr6olqElxgkBMc2uxoirfhpXpO_T5my7G_5Z6sSDVNWseY7Ukwf-ftphDkRbiK-P35__HsPqwLabNZkbYZE-7CWZC9AUk/s1600/381330_10150430838157398_597147397_8436329_647902472_n-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg21XNc2CO_VDTVCzUFlY2kkDE3hWLnn3fjX1MFnLa_4mcsyTMr6olqElxgkBMc2uxoirfhpXpO_T5my7G_5Z6sSDVNWseY7Ukwf-ftphDkRbiK-P35__HsPqwLabNZkbYZE-7CWZC9AUk/s400/381330_10150430838157398_597147397_8436329_647902472_n-1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5680225764158872418" /></a><br />Here's our Janie. She's a cutie. Unfortunately, I think she has been mistreated. She is so scared. She basically lives in Beth Ann's room. She has ventured out and gone into the bathroom and Livi's room, but that's pretty much it. We've taken her downstairs, and she curls up under a blanket until we take her back upstairs. Most of the time she spends in Beth Ann's bedroom, she spends under her comforter. I'm not quite sure what to do. I brought her into bed with me on Thanksgiving when I was sick. She laid under the covers shaking. I guess we just have to take baby steps with her.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmtKzjrj8PnAAQgDECBoKzOPNSMhisoEtENGhPaKfQvZCnh4G9wCfh5XOyv3bgP5ItbBNwSNebICBs8fDyE6of4FjI4HNUbLVk5LmQM883xUifRMh8WZ2FotkWbY32cUDRGFV2BjU9FP0/s1600/314522_10150421924172398_597147397_8409151_1346198833_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 298px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmtKzjrj8PnAAQgDECBoKzOPNSMhisoEtENGhPaKfQvZCnh4G9wCfh5XOyv3bgP5ItbBNwSNebICBs8fDyE6of4FjI4HNUbLVk5LmQM883xUifRMh8WZ2FotkWbY32cUDRGFV2BjU9FP0/s400/314522_10150421924172398_597147397_8409151_1346198833_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5680226862706234754" /></a><br />For Thanksgiving, we were supposed to go to our friends' home, but we all ended up with a stomach virus. :( About one o'clock on Thanksgiving, I finally felt like cooking, and since everyone was feeling better, I threw together a Thanksgiving meal. We all basically looked at the food, and then put it away! Oh well. We were thankful anyway, and we are hoping that next year will NOT be our third Thanksgiving in a row to be sick!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz74xfPWKGpO47wP63QqAE3EZKvDGZZb13oYN4-P0o1kkUV40FmMAvLDUxCrYf-ED0Pd2GbVX99f73s_daXq8qhnKLUbEDA1tk-07t-qVZSWi3R30wnBKcpH_aKZ1lFlrfRyLAK90PLC4/s1600/388181_10150400461537398_597147397_8344506_674400918_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 298px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz74xfPWKGpO47wP63QqAE3EZKvDGZZb13oYN4-P0o1kkUV40FmMAvLDUxCrYf-ED0Pd2GbVX99f73s_daXq8qhnKLUbEDA1tk-07t-qVZSWi3R30wnBKcpH_aKZ1lFlrfRyLAK90PLC4/s400/388181_10150400461537398_597147397_8344506_674400918_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5680227594563715794" /></a><br />This picture is of our kids' choirs from First Universalist at St. John's Cathedral. They recently had the opportunity to perform with two other children's choirs at a fundraiser for The Children's Hospital. It was a huge opportunity for them.Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-37866563904021641692011-11-21T19:09:00.000-08:002011-11-21T19:18:58.111-08:00Our new fur baby!In the past few months, we've lost two of our beloved kitties. Harry died in August. I got Harry in 1992 when he was a tiny kitten. He was 19 years old when he died. I know that is a very long life, but it was still incredibly sad to lose him. On Halloween, our 15 year old cat, Ronnie, died. My husband rescued him, three litter mates, and an older kitten that was obviously from the same home in October of 1996. We miss them both terribly. <br /><br />A few days after Ronnie died, we started seeing an orange kitty hanging around. I didn't think anything of it at first since there are many cats in our neighborhood. She didn't act like a cat that had a home though. She was very scared of me and would run any time I tried to get near her. One morning we woke up to two foxes in our backyard near the kids' playhouse. After that we realized that this little orange kitty was living under the playhouse. Since she wouldn't come to me, I contacted <a href="http://www.catcaresociety.org/">The Cat Care Society.</a> I was able to rent a trap from them ($50 deposit - refundable; $.50 a day rental). We caught the poor little thing that same night. She was filthy, terrified, and starving. <br /><br /><a href="http://www.thefelinefix.org/">The Feline Fix</a> is part of the Rocky Mountain Alley Cat Alliance. We made an appointment and took her there to be fixed and tested for FIV and FeLV. All of her tests came back negative, so she is officially the newest member of our family. The veterinarian estimated her age at 3-4 years. She is slowly becoming less and less afraid. We named her Captain Janeway a.k.a. Janie. She's a love with an interesting habit of curling up underneath the blankets. I will get pictures posted of her as soon as I can figure out how to get them uploaded from my phone!Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-57776946758851862752011-11-21T18:54:00.000-08:002011-11-21T19:09:33.885-08:00It's been a whileI haven't blogged in quite some time. It's something I miss doing. My goal now is to blog at least once a week. I like having this forum. I like to talk about my children and family. I like to talk about issues that I am passionate about. I like to talk about things that I have conflicting views on. I've realized lately that I need to change a lot of things in my life. I am in a serious slump. Maybe it's because I'm looking down the barrel of 40! I don't know, and I don't exactly know where the journey is taking me. I do know that I want to blog about it as I go along. Blogging also helps me remember all the wonderful things in my life and why I am thankful for them.<br /><br />It's time for me to take care of myself. I started back to school in January. I am a music education major, and I love it. I love being in school, and I absolutely love having so much music in my life. Somehow I have to get over the notion though that it is selfish to be in school. I take care of everyone else, but since I am in school I figure that is all I get. I have to take care of myself as well. There is so much going on that I have been feeling overwhelmed and oftentimes feeling like I am barely keeping my head above water. I have to make many changes.<br /><br />One change that I am making is in my eating habits. I truly believe that eating a vegan diet is the best not only for my health but for ethical and environmental reasons as well. I have been an ethical vegetarian for 19 years. It's very hard to be in a "mixed family." My husband, luckily, is a vegetarian, but he is a die hard dairy fan. Eggs aren't hard for him because he doesn't even like them. Dairy though - watch out! I've been very honest with him lately though. I have to do this for me. He doesn't have to change, but I am not going to make food with dairy in it any more. Unfortunately, I also have to cut gluten out of my diet - for good. I have played around with eliminating gluten, and I went without it for quite a while. I though I just had gut issues, and they were fixed. I was wrong though. After eliminating and introducing a few times, I have realized that not only do I have digestion issues when I eat gluten, I also have pain in my legs and feet. That is the part that is the most troubling for me. No food is worth that. So, I am cleaning out the kitchen, and then will be gluten free. <br /><br />As a student and mom of five, I really need inexpensive and quick meals. They also have to be gluten free and vegan. I know how to do vegan. I know how to do cheap. I know how to do gluten free. Melding the three is proving to be a challenge. I just bought a new cookbook by Robin Robertson called Vegan on the Cheap this weekend. I am hoping that it will help me out! I am also in the process of overhauling my food blog a bit. I want to start updating it again as well. I will be looking for support along my journey! I'll be blogging about other aspects along the way, but this is the first step.Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4031699949385267119.post-25232746717950553992011-02-19T08:47:00.000-08:002011-11-21T18:50:43.303-08:00I support "the teacher"This week I have read two very different stories from and about two very different teachers. The first story was about a Pennsylvania teacher named Natalie Munroe who said horrific things about her students on a publicly accessible blog. <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110216/ap_on_hi_te/us_teacher_suspended_blog">Read the news story here. </a>She made comments such as "They are rude, disengaged, lazy whiners." She also talked about things she wished she could have put on student evaluations such as "I hear the trash company is hiring," "I called out sick a couple of days just to avoid your son," and "Just as bad as his sibling. Don't you know how to raise kids?" The friend who posted this said that she supported the teacher. I have a very different take on this story. <br /><br />I had teachers like Natalie Munroe. They were critical, uncaring, and demeaning. I have lifelong scars from those teachers. Munroe is a high school teacher. My teachers were grade school teachers. I cannot begin to tell you how much I thank God that I did not have a teacher like Munroe in high school. I went to high school with major baggage. I was dealing with serious self esteem and confidence issues from early childhood bullying from teachers and students. I became involved in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship, and at one point, I tried to commit suicide. I don't know how having a teacher like Munroe would have affected me in high school. I know it wouldn't have been a positive experience. Luckily, I had teachers like Mr. Terry Verlo, science teacher. He was exceptionally kind. He taught me that I was worthy of kindness even when I felt that I did not deserve it. I also had teachers like Mr. George Fisher, history teacher. He taught me that my ideas and thoughts had value and were worth listening to and discussing. I had teachers like Mr. Charles Barber, English teacher. He always made me smile in class. He taught me that we students were important by trying to make learning fun and trying to engage us. I had teachers like Mr. Curtis Anderson, music teacher. He taught me that I could pour my energy into the things I was passionate about, and he inspired me to be more than I thought I could be. There were others as well who made a positive impact in my life. <br /><br />I thank God for those teachers. Teachers have incredible influence on their students even if they don't (as it seems Munroe does not) realize it. <br /><br />The second story I read this week was written by a former teacher named Peggy Robertson. She writes eloquently and beautifully about the joys and frustrations of being a teacher. I don't want to paraphrase too much of what she said here. I would encourage you to read the <a href="http://blogs.edweek.org/teachers/living-in-dialogue/2011/02/are_you_there_mr_president_mad.html">post</a> for yourself. Here is a former teacher who WANTS to teach. She WANTS to fight to make the system better as opposed to spending her energy putting down the very people she is supposed to be helping. I may be idealistic, but I truly believe there are more Peggy Robertson's in the world than there are Natalie Munroe's. I believe that most teachers go into teaching because they truly want to teach students. What a beautiful privilege to be a part of helping a child become the person they were meant to be! <br /><br />I am currently in school studying to be a high school teacher. This summer there will be a march in Washington D.C. You can read more about it <a href="http://www.saveourschoolsmarch.org/">here.</a> I really want to be there. You see, I support the teacher. I support the teachers who are out there trying to make the world a better place. I support the teachers who are out there working their butts off fighting the "teach to the test" mentality. I support the teachers who are out there every day trying to find a way to help that one student who just isn't "getting it." I support the Mr. Verlo's, Mr. Fisher's, Mr. Barber's, Mr. Anderson's, and the multitude of others who are inspiring students. I support the teacher.Mistyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12322567329514640103noreply@blogger.com3