Thursday, November 13, 2008

Erma Bombeck of crunchy mamas

Recently, a friend of mine has come under some criticism (from complete strangers I might add) for a blog post she made about "The Martha Stewart of the crunchy mamas." The post talked about this "crunchy mama's" blog and how everything is perfect. She always knits gorgeous soakers with organic wool and all the food they eat is organic and the house is always spotless and the children are always beautifully groomed and life is "perfect." She pointed out the obvious - that "Martha Stewart" is only showing the world part of the story. I thought I would show some solidarity by outing myself as "The Erma Bombeck of crunchy mamas."

I would love to be a better mom. You know, the one who never yells, always knows the right thing to do, is super organized, never would let a sposie touch the bare bottom of a child, is always ready for play dates and sleepovers and can whip up a batch of organic, vegan chocolate chip cookies that makes the kids mouths water at the drop of a hat! I would love to be the homemaker that cooks fabulous from scratch meals every night, has the house immaculate, only has the greenest cleaners, always has the cats groomed and every terd out of the litter box the moment it's dropped, and doesn't have a cobweb or dust bunny on the premises. I would love to be the crafty woman who makes every Christmas gift, has a stack of gorgeous homemade diapers waiting for the new baby, and has many gorgeous scrapbooks instead of hundreds of photographs on the computer waiting to be printed.

Here's the reality. I've been sick with this pregnancy for 12 weeks. There have been days that I haven't been able to get out of bed. So, as much as I hate disposable diapers (they just STINK), they've been on my toddler's butt as much as cloth lately. The gourmet, healthy, organic meals that I have planned in my head - have stayed in my head. My way too frequent offerings to the porcelain goddess have made it almost impossible to cook. I can't tell you how many of our "gourmet" meals have turned out to be veggie burgers! My "clean" laundry piles (you know, the ones that get washed - just not folded and put away) and my "dirty" laundry piles have to be sorted in different rooms, so I can keep them separate! Even sometimes my good plans get thwarted. This morning, I was going to make my children some hot, scrambled, "nest free" eggs for breakfast. Only to come down to find that my husband cracked the eggs into the bowl and had gotten a ton of egg shells into the eggs. So, having nothing else to feed them for breakfast (another "supermom" failing - must go soon to the grocery store), we had to stop at......wait for it......McDonald's! Ugh. I HATE McDonald's. Of course, it wasn't until we were halfway to McDonald's that I remembered that I had oatmeal stashed away in the cupboard. I guess it's been so long since I've spent any quality time in my own kitchen that I've forgotten my way around.

I certainly do have dreams of being crunchy supermom. I jokingly call myself a failed neat freak. There are stains on my carpets, cobwebs in the corners, pencil marks on the walls - yes, I would love to never have that. Maybe then I could be "supermom" and my life would be "perfect?" Here's the deal: My life is perfect. Maybe it's not perfect through other people's eyes. Probably many people wouldn't even be interested in a life remotely like mine, but that's okay. I would love to throw my daughter a fabulous birthday party with a gorgeous cake and mouth watering food. What she's getting is people who love her to surround her with love and fun, adequate food, and hopefully a cute and yummy cake. There are people that I forgot to invite. Some of the food will probably be store bought. The cake will probably have a sunken middle. It's all good though. Instead of spending all day getting ready for the party, we're all going to make our own signs protesting the hate legislation in this country, and then we're going to go downtown and show our support to the GLBT community. Our friends will spend the evening with us and not give a care that the salsa is store bought or that I didn't get the cobwebs out of the corners. Their kids will go upstairs and play with mine and not care that half the toys are awesome, wooden, well constructed, bought from socially conscious companies and half the toys are plastic, mainstream stuff that came from garage sales and thrift stores.

Last night, rather than folding the clean laundry sitting on my cedar chest, I curled up in bed with my husband and son and read part of Bridget Jones's Diary. The Audacity of Truth is on my book list - honest!

I may not be supermom, but I'm "just mom," and that's okay. I may get upset sometimes that I'm not more organized, or neater, or a better cook, or always have the gentle discipline thing down "right." But in the end, I'm just me. I'm a work in progress. I'm a mom, a wife, and just me, and it's exactly who I want to be. I try to live mindfully. I'm married to an amazing man, and together we are trying to teach our children to have compassion, to be accepting, to be socially conscious, and mostly to just be good people. We try to set a good example, and hopefully our children see us as good people - not without our flaws - but good people nonetheless.

I guess I like being the Erma Bombeck of crunchy mamas. My life is perfect: flawed, complicated, busy, unorganized, full of love, chaotic, mindful.....perfect.

Another of my supermom flaws - I have lost yet another card reader and cannot download new pictures! (I promise though Mom - I DID take a belly shot for you!) However, I think due to the nature of this post, I will post pictures from a typical, flawed, messy, perfect Saturday morning!

I'll just add to this picture that the pile of white laundry spilling onto the floor (or more accurately, knocked on the floor by children!) is actually clean as is the stuff behind my head!

Yes, Trey and Ray are in the background playing Wii!

What a fun, laid back, messy, snuggly, perfect morning!


Loelle said...

Misty - I love this! A mantra all (most) of us. I so remember those days of not being able to do much of anything. And yet, it seems I am still there - I invite you to come see my house! I totally get you on keeping the dirty and clean piles separate....

Carrie said...

I love you friend!